Written by RALPH KASAMBARA
On his Facebook page Ralph Kasambara mocking the findings of the forensic report commisioned by the brits, writes the following:
Written by MARAPOST CORRESPONDENT
The South Carolina woman spent a night in jail last week for failing to return a video she rented -- in 2005.
It was a VHS tape. Of a Jennifer Lopez movie.
Finley, 27, was arrested Thursday in Pickens County, South Carolina, on a misdemeanor charge of failure to return the video,
Written by MARAPOST LIFESTYLE
Written by MARAPOST
Written by WISE ONE
A well regarded and usually sober farmer was sitting in the neighbourhood bar, getting uncharacteristically drunk, and making quite a fool of himself in the process.
A neighbour, who knew the farmer very well, came in and asked him,
"Hey, Mr Chimbowa why are you getting this drunk and making a fool of yourself?"
Mr Chimbowa - our farmer that is - shook his head and replied, "Some things, you just can't explain," and sighed – as if the world had come to an end.
"What happened that's so terrible?" the concerned neighbour asked, ordered his own cold one, pulling a stool to sit down next to Mr. Chimbowa.
"Well, Bambo Phiri," Mr Chimbowa began – now that he had a sympathetic ear, even managing a sob, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."
"Okay," said Mr Phiri, "but that's not so bad, cows spill milk all the time."
"Some things you just can't explain," Mr Chimbowa repeated.
"So what happened then?" Mr Phiri pressed.
And Mr Chimbowa continued, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left."
"Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."
Mr Phiri (couldn’t help himself) now laughed and asked, "Again?"
Mr Chimbowa repeated his gloomy sentence again, "Some things you just can't explain."
"So, what did you do then?" Mr Phiri asked.
"I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right."
"Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."
"Hmmm," Mr Phiri said, nodding his head - as a person beginning to understand a situation does.
"Some things you just can't explain," Mr Chimbowa reiterated, now looking very dejected.
"So, what did you do?" Mr Phiri asked.
"Well," Mr Chimbowa said, "I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter.
Soon after that, my trousers – loose without the support of my belt - fell down; and now tell me Mr Phiri, who
walks in?“ Mr Chimbowa paused for effect.
“My wife,” he proceeded after his dramatic pause,”is the one - of all people - who walked in.” And by now the poor man was crying loudly, tears flowing freely.
He only paused once to repeat again for the third time: “Some things you just can't explain!"
Eureka! Myth about marriage
It was, until this morning, generally believed that married people live longer.
It has just been announced by the Donzology Department at Chanco that conclusive research has revealed that
this belief is a misconception.
Being married just makes the couple feel that their lives are unduly and painfully longer!
Have you ever wondered why dumb people seem to get an unfair share of promotions at work? Here is a theorem that explains why.
Fact: “Power” =” Work” / “Time”
Now, if “Knowledge” = “Power”; and “Time” = “Money”; then, “Knowledge” = “Work” / “Money”
Are we together this far? Ok, let’s move on:
Solving (“Knowledge” = “Work” / “Money”) for “Money” we get:
“Money” = “Work” / “Knowledge”
“Money” will approach infinity as “Knowledge” approaches zero, regardless of the “Work” actually done. Conversely, as “Knowledge” approaches zero, “Money” will likewise approach infinity.
The less you know, the more you make; which should explain your boss or your recently promoted colleague.
(c) The Maravi Post 2012