Written by AUNT NADITHI
I am 32 years old and in need of a woman to marry. I have never had a woman in my life so I don’t know how to approach one. What is it that they like most that would convince one to get married? I am desperate because I don’t know how to talk to a woman like other men do. Please tell me what women like to be told and what I can do to win one for myself.
Dear Robert K1,
Sometimes you try too hard that you pass the very object you are seeking. A wife is a soul mate who in our modern times may once have been a friend. And the rule about friendship is simply all about liking each other, admiring each other and just plain wanting to be with each ALL the time. If you can find a girl you like, someone whom you enjoy being with, you’ve found your soul mate and ultimately, your future bride. When you find this girl, you will find that you want to do things together, go places together, and attend weddings and other activities together.
Another thing that strengthens relationships is complementing each other. This tells a girl that you are admiring or envying her. For example, complement her on her hair, her dresses. But more than her appearances compliment her on things she says or does. If she has done something good at work or in the community, let her know how impressed you are with what she has done.
Meeting such a person as you get older becomes difficult but not that you can’t altogether find someone. Friends and family are usually good sources for connecting people; the church, community and social functions such as weddings are also good grounds for horizon searches.
I now hate all women
Dear Aunt Nadithi,
Help me Aunt Nadithi. I am a young man and my problem is that I once had a girlfriend whom I loved even after we had broken up for three years due to her silly mistakes. She came back to me and I accepted her with both arms and a clean heart.
But she broke up with me after a few months and this time, she had no good reason for the break up. I was very hurt because I had started making preparations for our wedding, which was to be later this year. I am now almost over her, but I have developed a negative attitude towards all women. I hate them and their pretense. To me, they are all like her. What should I do?
Contrary to popular belief, women just like men are made differently. It is not true that all women or all men are alike. Women, just like men act and react differently because they have different personalities, different characters. While it is unfortunate that you and your girlfriend break up and make up, you need to get over this girl and move on to find another girl.
You must release all anger you have for all women. Once you do this, you will find that you are less suspicious of all women are like your former girlfriend.
His family doesn’t like me
Dear aunt Nadithi,
I am 26 and my boyfriend is 28. We have had a relationship for about five years and lived together for two. We are now separated and the reason is his family members do not seem to like me much. This caused a lot of tension between us because he seems very attached to his family.
This is killing our relationship but I still love him very much. Do you think we should try to work things out on our own or should I just forget about this relationship?
While it is true that a relationship is between a man and a woman, the family plays a very important role in a relationship. This is because whether we like it or not, one’s mother or father will always be one’s mother or father; the same is true of siblings. The only way to go through this is should your man withstand his family’s disapproval of you by standing by your side, defending his love for you.
However, it appears as if his attachment prevents him from standing with you in love, his love for you is not as strong as his attachment to his family. You are standing on a weak platform that could cave in on you. You may have to consider moving on in the same way your living together was terminated by your man’s strong attachment to his family.