I patiently waited for my 6th July to clock. It seemed it was taking too long, but the memories of my wedding day were so afresh. While it is true that during a wedding, the wedding couple, AKA the TWO, hardly enjoy it after being exhausted with the preparations necessary for a day we all call BIG, its fortunate that all the toils and labors and expenses incurred in the course are soon forgotten, and all everyone sees is the happy Two dancing in hall, Kissing and taking the photos. This becomes the day the two lives to remember even after the death of a partner. They and almost all of us call it, WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. No wonder, I surprised my wife with a cake this year on our ANNIVERSARY. Just trying to make the day rosy. But there is more to it than just what we see outside the name, “WEDDING ANNIVERSARY”.
I once asked a friend who called me on his WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. I asked how does it feel to celebrate the day? But what he said still puzzles me to this day. And I hope we all know that a problem shared is halfway solved. So I have decided to share the puzzle with you. Here is what he said:
“My brother, since you are about to get married,” actually, I wasn’t married by then. ” …you will soon know that the greatest mistake you can make in life is having a wedding ring on your finger.” I was taken aback, but was quick to laugh and brush him off, but the guy seemed quite serious. “I hate the day I said ‘I DO’ and how I which it was rooted up from the calendar.”
Up until now, I never took this serious. It was last week when I was WhatsApping a couple as a counselor over the daily fights, that I realized the feeling my friend has is somehow everywhere. As a good counselor, I had to take time reading their lines carefully trying hard not to take sides. I learned that most unhappy couples regret having ever said ‘I DO’ and the day is a curse to them. And of course, just like I said in the ‘SECRETS TO HAPPY MARRIAGE’ article, the main problem with this couple is that each was always right.
In as much as marriage and wedding are a desirable and sometime appear as a goal amongst the singles that have never tested marriage, it has always been a curse to those who un-thoughtfully got into it. All they know and see are the premature wrinkles each one brings on the others forehead. No wonder we have the early twenties appearing like the sweet fifties. All the sweet names and words are all history, and when the BIG DATE comes, everyone says in the heart, “THIS IS THE DAY I BECAME A SLAVE” When one looks at the finger, there he/she sees the smallest handcuff ever made, unfortunately the holy words says
But this is not the way things were meant to be. Something is not just right and not okay at all. Before you got married, (and of course for you getting married in the near future), you had dreams. Maybe visions. Maybe wishes. All practical ones. I don’t think you ever dreamt of shouting at your spouse, yelling and/or laying a mad hand on her. I absolutely doubt it.
It’s possible to make your BIG DAY a day to long for. Do something crazy and have fun with your spouse. Take a little re-treat. Kids aside. Into the jungle like two love birds, admire the trees, the thorns, the sky and the birds, and who knows, a Kalulu (Hare) might just run ahead of you. Play seek and hide in the bushes. Carry him on your back. Give her your shoulder to lean on. Let her head rest on your chest. Pat her on her buttocks and admire her as she walks ahead of you. Tell her she’s beautiful. Tell her you love her. Feed him with your mouth. Take some selfie photos together, no need of a photographer, just the two of you. A photo while kissing. Have those funny pauses. Since you are married, I hope she will enjoy you sucking her breast in the open air. It’s just the two of you, and so you can rush to some privacy for a quickie. It’s fun and all healthy for your family. This will make your day, that BIG DAY worthy it. Try it. Make it your family lifestyle. It costs nothing, just some parked meals, and some bottles of water. But neglecting it will cost your marriage.
Next time try along the river banks or lakeshore. Play a game in the water and kiss in the water. You can also go swimming when its dark and enjoy an in-water quickie. This way you will see why others long for their BIG DAYS. If it means spending, spend. After all, most men don’t have a problem spending on their side chicks, but they have a big problem spending on their family. Time to turn things around.
Be wise and be innovative. Stop discouraging those intending to marry because you have failed your marriage. They might be wise than you and their marriage life could be worthwhile.