Last time I wrote about being the “Woman You Would Like Your Son to Marry,” which of course was about women and mainly those that have graduated to from mere woman hood to Wives. Of course, being a wife of a single man. A husband. Here, men thought they were safe, but for a moment they were until I figured out something as I was walking around our popular market in the tiny city of the north, MATAIFA.

Yes, at the heart of the common Mbwenu-mbwenu land, I saw something that diverted my attention to that small rejected village in the country’s capital. You are right if you are thinking of Kwa Nkhwidzi. The Chewa land or call it Zikomo Land.

A man, probably a husband or worse still a father had it senselessly. This guy was drunk. His guitared ribs exposed the hardships and poverty he might be going through. He knelt down in that state on the middle of the road, forcing vehicles to hit a cue, and I was lucky my car was the first one on the cue, and I had an advantage to see it all. The guy had his arms in a praying way, and he was crying. Don’t ask me what he was saying; I couldn’t hear him.

No wonder, I have heard a lot girls saying, “Bambo anga ndiovuta, eish” which is simply translated as “My father is problem.” What that means is simple and straight forward, “I can’t marry a man of my father’s type.”  I am sure you know how special your daughter is, and you should know that she deserves a special man. So be that special type of a man your daughter will live to admire in life.  It’s time to show your children what a good husband can be to the family.

Imagine if your daughter brought home that a well looking young man and introduces him as his fiancée. Upon seeing him, you realize he’s the boy you had a fight with last month at a drinking joint over prostitutes. What would you say? What would you do? And if you are to turn it down, what explanation are you going to give to your family for that? Will you stand up tall and defend your claims?

If I were you I could realize that being a father is different from being a man. And I could realize that a father is more than the ability to impregnate a woman. It goes beyond the mere imaginations of being called a DADDIE or PAPA. The future lifestyle of your children lies in your hands. Their physical, mental and spiritual health is fully entrusted into your hands and God hold you accountable for that. So be the husband you would like your daughter to marry.

Remember, your daughter watches and observes everything you do. And everything you do now will at one point influence her choice of a husband. The way you dress, the way you talk, the way you treat your wife and all your relatives, defines the type of a husband you are, and of course the type of husband your daughter will opt for.

So be the type of a husband you would like your daughter to marry. As for me, am lucky, mine is a boy, and working on being the father I would like him to be.