Former Malawi President Joyce Banda pose with women

10 Whocan find  a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. – Proverbs 31:10

Globally the months of May to September,  young, middle aged, and elder persons, get married. And suits, gowns, and vows are worn, and rings exchanged. As the day draws near, grooms and brides are prepared in a variety of ways, including physically, mentally, and spiritually as well-wishers shower the couple with gifts. As the season of blessed nuptials unfold, and spring out everywhere, an introduction is made of  one of the stars of the season.

The bride, upon whom all eyes fall from start to finish: a woman of virtue, who upon taking vows gets name change, from woman to wife, from name of her father to name of her husband. And age-old narrative pays homage to her, as follows:

Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. A wonderful tribute that in abundance on the wedding day. 

She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar.She also rises while it is yet night,  and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard. She is an industrious being from long ago. That women, the wives work for the good of their household was as true then, as it is today.

She girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle.She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not only a decision-maker, she is also a charitable person.

She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come. The virtuous woman is always prepared and takes care of her household, and through her, her husband is revered by other people. She also brings in extra income into the family, whether through farming or small-scale industrial undertakings, or as the second income earner in the home.

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. As a God-fearing being, the virtuous woman watches how she speaks, knowing that her words can inflame and cause damage for her family.

Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates. Both her children and husband revere her and praise her, a woman of virtue, also known as the wise woman.

While she does not love money (and no, money is not the root cause of evil; the love of money is the root cause of evil), she uses money for the wellbeing of her family. She is very open with how she spends her resources called money/income/gifts,

Joint accounts of family resources are good, if families can handle them; if not, many marriages survive with separate bank accounts; but transparency is a critical element in all marriages.

There should always be a budget, just like the country survives through budgetary exercises, so too, in marriages, husband and wife, must create budgets for their livelihood. Living without a budget is like going to a field with seeds, without considering the expanse of the field, or what other inputs will be required.

In the budget will be items that are recurrent priorities such as rent, utility bills, cellphone; there are personal priorities such as manicure & pedicure, for his list, it may be a professional haircut or a round of golf with the guys, etc.

During the budget talks, never feel shy to stop each other on lofty or flamboyant expenditures. Coming high on the top of the budget, must be the commitments such as tithes and offerings (remember that Malachi 3:8 says “do not rob God in your tithes and offerings,” and Malachi 3:10 says “… test God in doing this and see how He will open up the floodgates of heaven to bless you.”

The virtuous woman of today, as in the past leads her family to great lengths of fruitful abundance.

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