We are filing this under comedy: poor man wanted to get rich overnight, he went to a herbalist who gave him a lethal poison and said the dosage would kill him but just for a week after which he would wake up a rich man. Said man takes poison, dies and never wakes up and is still dead and likely to remain so.

This world. This one is likely to win the Darwin Awards.

According to a media release by Dedza Police Spokesperson, Edward Kabango, 22 year old Limbani Nsalawatha from T/A Kachere in Dedza is the said man.

“The man went to Mozambique where he got charms. He was advised to take them and would die for a week. The man took the charms to his house and drunk. He advised the wife not to cry nor tell anyone and he ordered her to collect maggots into a bag from his decomposed body that would turn into money when he resurrects after a week.

“The man indeed died as advised by the witch doctor and the wife left the dead body in a separate room and as a ritual, she was advised not to mourn him because that would make his death permanent,” said Kabango’s release.

After six days, neighbours were disturbed by a foul smell coming from the house and swarms of house flies fighting to invade the decaying via a window on the room where the body was lying.

This forced the wife to go to the relatives of the husband where he revealed everything.

The matter was reported to Njonja police unit who rushed to the house with a medical practitioner. The body was found in a decomposed state.

Postmortem results showed our man died due to suffocation and burial was ordered, naturally.

Meanwhile police are advising people to refrain from believing anything they hear but should work hard if they want to get rich.

Yeah, work hard to find better herbalists.

Maybe the wife should have waited, what if our man is now pure gold and diamond while lies 6 feet below the top soil? What if he drank too much medicine and he was then supposed to die for two more weeks?

Sounds crazy, but what if there is a chance?