Blues’ Orators, I trust you watched the absurd double-feature drama by the Malawi Revenue Authority (MRA) and Malawi Communications Regulatory Authority (MACRA) on the Times Group just over a week ago.In Act 1 Scene 1: MRA invaded Times Group offices, sealed them – effectively halting all programs – forcing Times Radio and TV to play music and relay feeds from others.
Then in Act 2 Scene 1: MACRA weighed in, brandishing what will go down in history as the most senseless letter ever, demanding an explanation from the Times Group for altering programmes ‘without informing MACRA’.
Blues’ Orators, how more ridiculous can absurdity get?
Just when MRA was about to succeed in deluding the less informed that its misguided actions were justified, MACRA rose to prove that the Times Group was under siege on orders from above.
It would have been funny if freedom of expression, truth and the right to food were not at stake.
What I have taken home is: there are no limits to the depths people we deemed intelligent can sink when massaging the bruised egos of their thieving masters.
Now, when something is in season, there is no telling where it will turn or end up.
With absurdity being the talk of the town, I was not shocked when it resurfaced in, of all places, Chiradzulu.
Watching and listening to the Chilembwe Day harangue by the Providence Industrial Mission (PIM) president and general overseer the Reverend Patrick Makondetsa castigating the media and the opposition for what he termed ‘bad reporting’, I was tempted to dedicate this week expounding the absurdity of his point of view.
But as a ranking defender of not only freedom of expression but also of freedom after expression, I opted not to.
But having said that, as my brother’s keeper, I will do you injustice if I fail to point out the flaws of Makondetsa’s tirade vis-à-vis what John Chilembwe stood for.
Act 3 Scene 1: to cut a long story short, Makondetsa used the function to chide the media and the opposition to the delight of the ruling elite, including President Peter Mutharika, who was seen and heard heartily applauding the sermon.
Had the ceremony not required sombreness, I am quite sure we would have heard roars of “Lyo! Lyo! Lyo! Dumba mnganya, aphalire sono!”
Verbatim, Makondetsa said: “God is angry with the nation of Malawi because of negative reporting. And He is saying to the nation of Malawi today: They [those involved in bad reporting] will keep wandering in the wilderness. Malawi is derailing into under-development because of the negative reporting.”
He warned that those publishing negative stories against government “will never see the Promised Land”.
“The Promised Land was an 11-day march to Canaan, but because of the bad reporting, it took the Israelites 13 000 days. Bad reporting, negative reporting, is not good to any nation. It derails development.
“It upsets the strong-minded. It confuses the strong. Negative reporting is a greater evil of our nation. It plants fear among citizens of this nation. It undermines the capability of its citizens. It kills the hardworking spirit of their people,” declared Makondetsa, attracting the handclapping that the Veep, Saulos Chilima has developed an aversion for, from the high profile audience.
He went on and on, elucidating how “bad reporting” has also plagued churches – he didn’t specify which, families, and political parties – presumably the whole lot – going by the widespread infighting.
Encouraged by the rare spectacle of Mutharika clapping hands with abandon, he advised beleaguered Mutharika not to fear his foes within the governing Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) – I didn’t know APM has foes in DPP – and in the opposition.
Then in a manner akin to the conmen we see about, he assured Mutharika that God has a strategy for wiping out bad publicity against his government.
Now, while I am not one to question the Lord’s omnipotence, take it from me Blues’ Orators that He condones neither corruption nor cover-ups that hurt his very people.
For instance, shady maize wheeler-dealing which makes maize too expensive for the masses, is not something the Lord would create a strategy to ‘wipe out bad publicity’ for.
No ways, trust me on this one.
But I am digressing, let me return to our issue.
Blues’ Orators, the reason why we commemorate Chilembwe, why we hold him in so high esteem to the extent of having his face gracing our currency; is because he stood up to the colonial oppressors, for his people.
Had it not been for Chilembwe’s brand of “bad reporting” which led to the 1915 insurrection, he would have been a ‘darling’ of the colonialists at the expense of his people plus no-one would have heard of him.
In fact, PIM and its latter day presidents and general overseers wouldn’t even be television material today.
Had Chilembwe believed and lived by the absurd crap churned by Makondetsa, we wouldn’t have set aside a day to commemorate his selflessness, patriotism and zero tolerance for oppression, including man-made starvation.
So, if the media of today is guilty of “bad reporting”, it is because the down-to-earth but patriotic journalists are the real disciples of John Chilembwe; unlike some turncoats throwing all principles to the dogs at the slightest sight of a dangling carrot.
I dare say that instead of blatantly scheming on how to get into the regime’s good books, the incorruptible John Chilembwe would have stood up against today’s corruption!
I will say no more except to reassure the good PIM president-cum-general overseer that I, for one, did not find his harangue offensive.
Opportunistic, yes it was, but offensive? No.
Why?
Because I know Malawi is now a theatre of the absurd, and that the gentleman was merely simulating a modern ‘Launcelot Gobbo’ to entertain the embattled Mutharika – who, in fact badly needed some sort of amusement.
Welcome to Malawi, the theatre of the absurd.
*The article was first published in the Sunday Times
