I am finding it hard to keep a straight face. Two very interesting, if rather tragi-comical events took place this past week. First, a certain university in China decided not to listen to my admonition that politically ambitious first ladies need to be handled very carefully rather than have their political egos pampered. Instead of heeding to my warning that first ladies that venture into politics are a dangerous breed that do not need to be encouraged or entertained, these Chinese vultures decided to go and inflate our First Lady’s already sizeable ego by awarding her a professorship. Arise Professor Mutharika (Mrs.)!
Of all the academically jerkological cheap shots that I have seen in this country, this one probably takes the cake.
What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a person who has attained two very honourable educational awards for no other reason that simply because of being married to a president. First, for her services as the country’s wife number one, Madame Gertrude Mutharika was awarded an honorary doctorate by the university of Malawi- an institution whose top people must either kiss the president’s behind or risk losing their elevated positions at that institution; and secondly – and do not take this lightly fellow Malawians – for reasons I will discuss later, the “First Wife” is awarded a professorship. I have just a couple of questions on this professorship: What papers or books has the woman published? What teaching appointments has she fulfilled? What academic achievements has she demonstrated? What contributions has she made to the academic or teaching fraternity? This honorary professorship seems to have been awarded on the same criteria as an honorary doctorate.
Now, I would be very surprised or even baffled if the answer to this puzzle was not right there before my eyes in my Uncommon Sense. You see, just a few days later, the answer came to me in the shape of a so-called Chinese investment in a proposed and shopping complex development in Lilongwe that was proclaimed and lifted up to the heavens by none other than the president himself.
You see! Now it all makes sense (Call is Uncommon Sense). Make the first lady a professor and you have a red carpet laid out for you all the way to the state house, where the president will move heaven and earth to grant you land and an open licence to exploit Malawians. As some of my countrymen elsewhere have observed, Chinese so-called investments must always be viewed suspicion. Their shopping malls always have Chinese traders occupying the prime spots, Chinese workers do the building of the structures and when Malawians work at these places, they are paid less than the minimum wage. It is no wonder then that the Chinese are not bothered by the prospects of operating their s in a country where electricity supply is available only 25 per cent of the time. They will bring their solar backup systems, set up shop and sell their made–in-China products. They will erect their and invite poor Malawians to gamble away their hard-earned fortunes – all with the blessing of a professor president, and a “professor” First Lady! So what if the majority of Malawians protest these developments? Professors are supposed to be learned people, if they say yes to these types of Chinese investments, then they must be okay, shouldn’t they?
As everyone probably knows very well by now, it bothers me to no end that as a country, we have a governance framework that makes these kinds of acts by our leaders possible, and this kind of impunity to go unchecked.
Here we are clapping and applauding a Chinese investor who has used the clout of his country to indirectly influence the government into prioritizing yet another unwise investment simply by massaging the ego of the first lady and thus indirectly that of the president.
Call me old fashioned and pedantic, but I would have thought that a first lady well-deserving of any kind of honorary doctorate and let alone a professorship would be one was at the forefront advising her husband to keep a keen eye on what is happening in his administration?
Shouldn’t a First Lady deserving of any type of honorary anything be the first to advise her president husband to fire an intelligence chief who gets caught with his pants down in the act of conspiring with his lawyer to steal from his business partners and corrupt the justice system by planning to heavily bribe judges?
Shouldn’t a first lady worthy of any salt be the one that advises her husband to remove from his cabinet all elements suspected of corruption and looting?
And of this one I am particularly concerned: Shouldn’t a first lady with two honorary awards- a doctorate and a professorship, no less- be the first to recognise the disastrous economic effects of all these blackouts, and urge her president husbands to solve these urgent problems, and make it clear to the public that there us real commitment to finding sustainable and lasting solutions?
Now if you I were gong to give any first lady an honorary doctorate or professorship, and especially if those awards were connected to issues of health and hygiene, I would require as a precondition, for that first lady to demonstrate that she understands the connection between a terrible declining economy with blackouts and shortage of medicine in hospitals and the declining general health of the public and the nation. I do not think that my criteria would be based simply on how hard the concrete was that was used in beautifying the country’s roundabouts, or how many water sprinklers were planted there to water the loans.
On the other hand, though, if I were a Chinese investor looking to exploit poor and clueless Malawians, Knowing that pleasing the first lady is the key to getting handed Malawi on a platter for me to exploit, I would definitely speak to one of the universities in my country to give award the venerable first lady with whatever honours she desires to elevate her profile. Why not!
The leader of opposition has received a lot of criticism for his remarks when he responded to the President’s so-called state of the nation. Whatever the opinion of the speaker, Malawi Watch and anyone who has been quick to condemn Dr Chakwera for his comments, I would like to think that any dishonour regarding the issue is that of those who refuse to acknowledge the truth of his words. Sometimes the truth hurts, but even if it hurts, it is still the truth because truth is absolute. What we have in the leadership of this country are individuals concerned more about their own welfare than that of the nation.
Investors are clever and are quick to see the self-centeredness of leaders in countries such as ours. The asses the situation, do their homework and come up with answers. The way to exploiting Malawi under Peter Mutharika is through the politically ambitious first lady desperate to be recognised as a serious intellectual.
And so, presto! Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you Professor Mutharika (Mrs.)!
