By Burnett Munthali
For parents, dealing with difficult teenage daughters can be challenging. Teen girls are smart, spirited, and strong. They have their own opinions, and they feel things deeply.
Moreover, teenage girls are going through all kinds of physical and mental changes. They’re developing interests and relationships outside the family. Hence, they’re building an independent sense of self. As a result, they can sometimes bump heads with their parents.
Teen girls aren’t really “difficult.” But navigating the changing parent-child relationship can be. When parents seek advice on how to deal with a teenage girl, they’re looking for ways to stay in close connection with their daughter. Connection is what it’s all about.
Dealing with Difficult Teenage Daughters
Puberty has a powerful impact on a girl’s life. This stage brings both mood changes and new experiences.
For girls, puberty begins around age 11. Consequently, girls become physically mature between 14 and 16.
Therefore, the physical development that comes with puberty can trigger body-image and self-esteem issues. Hence, teenage girls are often self-conscious during puberty as a result of body odor, acne, and/or discomfort with the new changes in their appearance. In addition, they can be more moody, depressed, or anxious.
Furthermore, the adolescent brain is still developing throughout the teenage years, in particular the area of the brain that’s responsible for judgment and decision-making.
This area, the prefrontal cortex, doesn’t fully mature until the mid-20s. Hence, teenage girls are more susceptible to shifting impulses and emotions.
Mood Swings in Early Adolescence
Movies and TV often portray clichéd stories of parents figuring out how to deal with a disrespectful teenage daughter.
The stereotypical image of a difficult teenage daughter usually involves slammed doors, yelling, tears, and big fights with parents and siblings. Because adults may not be able to remember or relate to these extreme ups and downs, parenting teen girls can be confusing. That’s why parents sometimes feel that they are dealing with difficult teenage daughters.
However, there’s some truth in that stereotype, according to research.
A study published in the journal Child Development examined mood changes in nearly 500 adolescents.
The researchers followed the teens from age 13 to age 18. Three times per year, the teenagers used online dairies to report on their daily happiness, anger, sadness, and anxiety levels over five days.
As a result, the study found that teen mood swings are most variable in early adolescence.
Moreover, teen girls showed more extreme variations in happiness and sadness levels.
When Teen Girls Declare Independence
Striving for independence is an inevitable part of adolescent development.
Teen girls are learning to take responsibility, forming their own values, and figuring out how to make decisions that are right for them.
Thus, teenage girls express independence through their fashion choices, the music they listen to, the friends they spend time with, and the activities and hobbies they choose. And the choices they make might not be the same ones their parents would make for them.
Therefore, the teen years can be hard on parents. Hence, parenting teen girls requires finding a balance between setting limits and allowing teens to forge their own path.
Furthermore, parents may need to let teen girls experience failure. As a result, they learn more about themselves and develop resilience. But it’s not easy for parents to stand aside and watch their teenage daughters struggle and sometimes fail.
Older kids … are going through a process of separating themselves from their parents, becoming their own people and shaping who they will be apart from us.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in the article are those of The author not necessarily of The Maravi Post or Editor
